Thursday, September 1, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Restless Nights.
He takes a deep shuddering breath, sitting up in bed as carefully as possible. Another restless night, his eyes fall on the sleeping man next to him, taking in everything, drinking him in. Ianto wonders vaguely if Jack is aware of these moments. The moments where he watches him sleep, studying his features as though trying to burn them into his brain.
Ianto slips out of bed, hissing softly as the cold, concrete floor makes contact with his feet. He glances over his shoulder at Jack, smiling slightly, then climbs up the ladder to the main floor of the Hub.
Looking around the dimly lit space, he stretches, walking off towards the kitchen. He opens the fridge and grabs two beers, closes it and heads for the couch. He collapses onto it, putting his feet up onto the table.
Busting open one of the cans, he takes a sip and sighs. It seems that he's been having these nights more often than not, lately. His mind wanders.
He looks down at his wedding ring, and takes another gulp of beer. Dangerous thoughts begin to creep into his head as they have been for the past couple of weeks. At first, it was easy to keep the them at bay, but then the restless nights had started again and all he -could- do is think.
The ring glints a little in the semi darkness. This is, probably the happiest he's ever been since...Lisa. Actually, there's no question. This -is- the happiest he's ever been and yet...
The name still makes him uncomfortable. His stomach twists with guilt. He needs to let this go. He -has- to move on. But how do you just move on from your first love?
Not to mention the fact that he still feels responsible for her death.
Another stab.
He drains the can and crushes it, moving onto the next. He hardly notices the fact that he's trembling.
There are times where he feels as though it would be best for Jack if he just left, disappeared. In the end, all he does is hurt people.
His sister, his niece and nephew, Lisa,.
He looks at the ring again and sighs.
He feels like he could run away.
Everyday, he gets a little older, god, he even thinks he maybe getting wrinkles. Jack has lost so many lovers in his life time.
Another twist in the stomach.
He can't bear the thought of him going through that again.
He takes another swig of beer and crushes the second can, getting to his feet. This is pointless. Ianto throws the squashed cans into the recycling, then rubs his temples a moment, taking a minute to compose himself. Shaking off the thoughts and his confusion he heads back down the ladder.
With any luck, the sleeping Captain didn't notice his absence.
Ianto slips out of bed, hissing softly as the cold, concrete floor makes contact with his feet. He glances over his shoulder at Jack, smiling slightly, then climbs up the ladder to the main floor of the Hub.
Looking around the dimly lit space, he stretches, walking off towards the kitchen. He opens the fridge and grabs two beers, closes it and heads for the couch. He collapses onto it, putting his feet up onto the table.
Busting open one of the cans, he takes a sip and sighs. It seems that he's been having these nights more often than not, lately. His mind wanders.
He looks down at his wedding ring, and takes another gulp of beer. Dangerous thoughts begin to creep into his head as they have been for the past couple of weeks. At first, it was easy to keep the them at bay, but then the restless nights had started again and all he -could- do is think.
The ring glints a little in the semi darkness. This is, probably the happiest he's ever been since...Lisa. Actually, there's no question. This -is- the happiest he's ever been and yet...
The name still makes him uncomfortable. His stomach twists with guilt. He needs to let this go. He -has- to move on. But how do you just move on from your first love?
Not to mention the fact that he still feels responsible for her death.
Another stab.
He drains the can and crushes it, moving onto the next. He hardly notices the fact that he's trembling.
There are times where he feels as though it would be best for Jack if he just left, disappeared. In the end, all he does is hurt people.
His sister, his niece and nephew, Lisa,.
He looks at the ring again and sighs.
He feels like he could run away.
Everyday, he gets a little older, god, he even thinks he maybe getting wrinkles. Jack has lost so many lovers in his life time.
Another twist in the stomach.
He can't bear the thought of him going through that again.
He takes another swig of beer and crushes the second can, getting to his feet. This is pointless. Ianto throws the squashed cans into the recycling, then rubs his temples a moment, taking a minute to compose himself. Shaking off the thoughts and his confusion he heads back down the ladder.
With any luck, the sleeping Captain didn't notice his absence.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
One Year.
Ianto pulled the creased photo from his pocket. Face blank as he studied it. He glanced around the Hub to make absolutely certain he was alone.
He was.
His finger trailer lightly over the picture of the woman.
Lisa.
Ianto let out a noisy breath. A year today, since she had died. He winced, folding the photo up with care, slipping it back into his pocket.
Work.
It's the only thing he can think of doing right now. The "clacking" of his fingers on the keyboard proving to be somewhat of a distraction as he typed up his reports. He stopped, frowning, feeling... well, he wasn't entirely sure -what- he was feeling... his mind wondered again...
-Lisa.-
His fingers curl and his hands become fists. He wonders if anyone else remembers. Probably not. Why should they? To the rest of the team, Lisa was just another alien threat, like any other they see. He sighs heavily as his mind sifts through the memories. In the end, he had made peace with Lisa's death. In retrospect, it had been for the best. But part of him still has a painful gnawing at that back of his head and at the pit of his stomach, that says he shouldn't have given up.
The feeling weighs down on his shoulders like an anvil. He constantly has to remind himself that there was no other way. That she had died back at Torchwood One, and what the rest of the team had done, was for the sake of humanity.
He's shaking. Nails biting painfully into his palms. He can't think straight. He needs to get out of here. Now. Pushing back his chair, Ianto stands, grabbing his coat as he makes his way to exit the Hub, not bothering to tell anyone he's leaving. He doubts they'd notice anyway, unless their coffee went cold.
He pushes that bitter thought away.
Ianto smiles slightly when he gets outside as the cool Cardiff air hits him. It's dark now. Well past two in the morning. Quiet. He walks for awhile, not really paying attention to where he's going, hands in pockets. His forehead creased a little while he thinks.
Ianto takes a seat on a bench overlooking the bay, tilting his head back, a soft breeze washing over him.
What a year.
He was.
His finger trailer lightly over the picture of the woman.
Lisa.
Ianto let out a noisy breath. A year today, since she had died. He winced, folding the photo up with care, slipping it back into his pocket.
Work.
It's the only thing he can think of doing right now. The "clacking" of his fingers on the keyboard proving to be somewhat of a distraction as he typed up his reports. He stopped, frowning, feeling... well, he wasn't entirely sure -what- he was feeling... his mind wondered again...
-Lisa.-
His fingers curl and his hands become fists. He wonders if anyone else remembers. Probably not. Why should they? To the rest of the team, Lisa was just another alien threat, like any other they see. He sighs heavily as his mind sifts through the memories. In the end, he had made peace with Lisa's death. In retrospect, it had been for the best. But part of him still has a painful gnawing at that back of his head and at the pit of his stomach, that says he shouldn't have given up.
The feeling weighs down on his shoulders like an anvil. He constantly has to remind himself that there was no other way. That she had died back at Torchwood One, and what the rest of the team had done, was for the sake of humanity.
He's shaking. Nails biting painfully into his palms. He can't think straight. He needs to get out of here. Now. Pushing back his chair, Ianto stands, grabbing his coat as he makes his way to exit the Hub, not bothering to tell anyone he's leaving. He doubts they'd notice anyway, unless their coffee went cold.
He pushes that bitter thought away.
Ianto smiles slightly when he gets outside as the cool Cardiff air hits him. It's dark now. Well past two in the morning. Quiet. He walks for awhile, not really paying attention to where he's going, hands in pockets. His forehead creased a little while he thinks.
Ianto takes a seat on a bench overlooking the bay, tilting his head back, a soft breeze washing over him.
What a year.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Run.
Ianto makes his way up from the cells, the hub is quiet. Everyone is downstairs with John.
John...
He shakes himself as a flash of anger threatens to take over. He sits down at his desk and pours himself a drink, he's not usually a drinker but if an occasion ever called for one, this would be it. The scotch burns on it's way down his throat, he pours another and repeats the process a few more times until he's pleasantly buzzed.
He felt useless down in the archives, as per usual. It's a wonder that he hasn't gotten himself killed yet, or anyone else for that matter. He's a hazard to himself and the rest of team. Perhaps it would be better if he just...
Quit.
The idea brews in his mind. And where would he go? His flat? No. Jack would look there. His sister's? Yeah, that sounds more reasonable to him.
Jack...
Ianto winces. He knows that Jack loves him. Would probably be heartbroken at his sudden departure. But after the way John spoke to him, he realizes that Jack and John are a better fit. Without anymore deliberation on his part, he begins to write his resignation letter to Jack.
John...
He shakes himself as a flash of anger threatens to take over. He sits down at his desk and pours himself a drink, he's not usually a drinker but if an occasion ever called for one, this would be it. The scotch burns on it's way down his throat, he pours another and repeats the process a few more times until he's pleasantly buzzed.
He felt useless down in the archives, as per usual. It's a wonder that he hasn't gotten himself killed yet, or anyone else for that matter. He's a hazard to himself and the rest of team. Perhaps it would be better if he just...
Quit.
The idea brews in his mind. And where would he go? His flat? No. Jack would look there. His sister's? Yeah, that sounds more reasonable to him.
Jack...
Ianto winces. He knows that Jack loves him. Would probably be heartbroken at his sudden departure. But after the way John spoke to him, he realizes that Jack and John are a better fit. Without anymore deliberation on his part, he begins to write his resignation letter to Jack.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
*Sighs*
Ianto made sure that his suit wasn't crushed in any way, glancing at the door he wondered why everyone had come back early. He frowned, his hand on the handle to the door.
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